I never coached my eldest daughter. Instead, I sat in the stands and made little comments like, “Watch the pick,” “hustle back on D,” “Don’t leave your man.” Things like that. I then watched the following video by Frank Martin, the animated basketball coach of the University of South Carolina. I realized that, according to him, I crossed the line as a parent. Hey, I just wanted the best for my child, but I didn’t know the defensive scheme or the role my daughter had on the team. I was guilty of coaching from the stands.
After watching this video, I took Coach Martin’s message to heart. I signed up to be a coach for my second daughter. Truth be told, I am not very good, but it has been a lot of fun. I teach several aspects of the game that other coaches commonly overlook. I focus on fundamentals and teamwork. My number one rule on the team is “No ball hogs allowed – if a player scores three consecutive baskets, she will immediately be pulled from the game.” I even put shooting restriction on my best players or set goals for the amount of assists during a game. I am also able to focus on the character and leadership elements that I think are so important for life development. By the end of the year, we are a “team,” not a bunch of individuals playing on a team.
Now when I sit in the stands at my eldest daughter’s games, I am careful to say nothing more than, “Good job,” or “Great pass.” Otherwise, I am moot. I don’t criticize the officials or try to second-guess the coach. When my child has a problem or a concern with her coach, I ask her to speak to the coach (even if she won’t do it).
Joe’s Perspective: I think more parents should watch this video. I agree with Coach Martin. Parents do coach from the sidelines, they do send conflicting messages and they do place undue pressure on their kids. Some parents even have the nerve to criticize volunteer referees for 5th grade games. So, I say, either sit there and support your child from the stands or get off your butt and become a coach.
Your Turn: If you could give some advice to your parents sitting in the stands, what would it be? Why?
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When you’re screaming everything that I make mistakes in, it’s puts me under more pressure. Even if you’re yelling the loudest for no reason, puts more pressure. I understand your support, but toning it down is a bit better and reassuring.
I hate those moms that be yelling at you while you trying to make a point. Like shut the hell up.
Like shut up. No cussing.
They need to leave the COACHING to the coach like back off.
I dislike parents that don’t be understanding what you saying and you have to explain it again.
If my parents judge me for not being good at a sport i would tell her to be proud of me for trying my best.
facts
I have coaches already telling me what to do so you don’t need to yell at me from the stands.
Yelling from parents while possibly inaccurate helps me sometimes. Even though I don’t always listen to the content of the advice it does help motivate me
When a parent is screaming at their kid it can make their kid confused because when a coach tells them something it’s usually different from what the parent says and will make their kid confused while it is normal for a parent to support their kid but if you want to tell them what to do it while they are sitting/resting .
You shouldn’t put to much pressure on your kids because that makes them think about if they can really do this or puts even more pressure on them.
It would be to stop bringing the whole family tree and only bring us.
That nobody should judge u how u speakk to your child in the stands.And that u have the freedom to say anything of your choice.And if there was a problem that somebody said that your were coaching on the sideline u should just listen a little in move on.
The advice I would give the parents is to back off because the kids are just trying to play the game and the referees
are just trying to make the right call without a bunch of adults screaming at them.
That nobody should judge u how u speak to your child in the stands.And that u have the freedom to say anything of your choice.And if there was a problem that somebody said that your were coaching on the sideline u should just listen a little in move on.
Nobody should judge you and how you speak to your child and we have rights to make your own choice
That no matter what you should be able to cheer for you child even if you’re the only one cause your allowed to be proud of them.
parents should sign up to be a coach if they want to coach their kid they shouldnt have to be in the stands and they should help their kids in a specific way that isnt yelling at them during a game
The parents should leave their kids to play the game cause it could confuse the kids and other people because the referees are supposed to make all the calls without all of the kids parents screaming at everyone
Let the coaches do their job. Coaching from the stands only annoys those around you and puts excessive pressure on the players.
I would tell them that i’m a ok and if they want to give advice don’t have it on the top of their lungs and they can just tell me during the intermission or while im not on the field or court or timeout
The parents shouldn’t act like that or tell their kid to do something in the stand. That is the coaches job
don’t scream
Try not to be angry or coach your kids from the sidelines.
I would say to them “I appreciate you wanting the best for me but dont coach in the back round if you have any suggestion on my playing tell me after the game please.”
The parents should leave the kids alone because it could embarrass them and confuse others because of the parent’s body language.
I would tell the parents to calm down. Screaming parents make the game so much more stressful.
I would tell my parents to leave it to the coaches and I’d also tell my Dad to stop yelling the opposite of the other dads.
Let the coaches do their job because parents don’t have the job of a coach.
The parents in the stands can get a little crazy sometimes. If I was to give advice to the parents I would say to calm down a little bit because it is just a game.
It would be just to cheer me on.
The advice I would give the parents is to back off because the kids are just trying to play the game and the referees
are just trying to make the right call without a bunch of adults screaming at them.
I agree with Coach Martin, because they are just pressuring their kids to do better, and not helping them at all. Instead of helping, it makes them feel like they have to do it like their parents want or have to do better, even if they are doing their all they feel bad because you are feeling them to do something.
If you yell at your kids to do better, that makes them feel that they are not doing good enough
I agree. Support is always nice and reassuring, but often it can be better to tone one’s comments down a bit.
That nobody should judge u how u speak to your child in the stands.
When you’re screaming everything that I make mistakes in, it’s put me under more pressure. Even if you’re yelling the loudest for no reason, puts more pressure. I understand your support, by toning it down is a bit better and reassuring.
It very unnecessary
Let us play the game
No bad comments only heplful things to say keep being encoraging
I would tell my parents to let the coaches coach the team and to stay out of it.
Don’t stress the kids who play the game.
Parents should let their kids play without telling them what to do on the field or the court. The parents should leave it to the coach to decide what to do with the team and decide who plays.
Maybe don’t make a big deal because you are not only embarrassing yourself but your kid too
I would tell parents to just watch there kids and see how they play the game
I agree with the coach. It can be hard for kids sometimes too, and not just adults. I also like how he challenges his kids to do better.
I would tell my parents to let the coaches coach the team and to stay out of it. My parents should let the coaches teach the kids and let us have fun and not feel bad when we get yelled at.
I agree with the coach because I don’t think it is right to coach young kids the way that coaches now do. It is too much pressure.
It can help motivate the the kids
Yelling at kids for their mistakes and telling them to do something is only putting more stress on them that they don’t need. You shouldn’t yell at your children on the sidelines because it only makes them feel more frustrated and like they’re doing something wrong. Children should be able to get advice from the coach not the parent.
If you are screaming it could make the kid confused and not focused
Parents should be there to support their kids, not criticize what they’re doing wrong. I would tell my parents that during the game, they should only cheer me on and motivate me, but after the game, I would be fine receiving helpful criticism.
If a parent is trying to coach from the sidelines and is getting worked up, they just need to calm down. Kids are supposed to just have fun when playing a sport, not be uptight since their parent is yelling at them.
I would tell my parents to just watch and not yell because it would affect how I play and make me feel pressured.
To all you parents on the sidelines, I believe that it’s the COACHES job to coach the kids, not the parents. If you’re coaching all the other kids, you might as well be a coach. Just let the coach do his job and support the kids.
Parents just need to chill out about thier kids getting beat up.
I would tell my parents to just watch and not yell because it would affect how I play and make me feel pressured..
The dad isn’t going to coach them because he isn’t their coach and he makes sure that he is there for his two boys but he doesn’t tell them how to play. also when they needed to ask a question they would go to him sometimes because their dad is a coach after all but he turns them away and tell them to go ask their coach because he isn’t their coach but when a different sistuation happens their dad will be their but he will not coach them.
Parents should complement their kids even if they did bad
It puts pressure on the kids when parents are screaming at them.
Messages are important to help everyone ever.
Let the coaches do their job because parents don’t have the job of a coach.
Parents should be able to say what they want to their kid.
When you yell at your kid it doesn’t help them at all. Maybe they should give them positive advice like you’ll get it next time or be ready for the ball. But definitely don’t scream at them.
You should not coach from the stands let the coaches do the coaching. If you want to help them do it at home.
The parents should leave their kids to play the game cause it could confuse the kids and other people because the referees are supposed to make all the calls without all of the kids parents screaming at everyone
If you could give some advice to your parents sitting in the stands, what would it be? Why?
I would probably say that it is useless to yell at kids in the game because it probably wont do anything. I would say this because many parents yell at the kids for no big reasson.
I don’t need a parent telling me what to do when I know so much more than them and they only tell me things i’m already doing or shouldn’t be doing.
Putting more pressure on your child won’t help them. It will make them stressed. If parents do want to give advice to their child sign up for the coach. But when on the sidelines just support them.
My advice would be to be quiet and if you do not know what you are saying then don’t say it.
Your kid is embarrassed when you are constantly screaming at the other team or your kid. You need to be supportive of your kid and the other team.
HAVE GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your kid is embarrassed when you are constantly screaming at the other team or your kid. You need to be supportive of your kid and the other team.
HAVE GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP!
If I am in a game, yelling at me to do things stresses me out, I know what I am doing, I don’t need to get confused, if you yell at me to do something and the coach tells me to do something different or not to do it, I stresses me out and overwhelms me. Also, don’t yell things like ‘C’MON YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!’ or, ‘EVEN [kid’s name] IS BETTER THAN THAT!’, it really upsets me. So just be nice and don’t do that.
when a parent is screaming at their kid it stresses out the kid, annoys the coach, makes the kids feel bad, and doesn’t help anything at all.
My advice to parents is to not yell at your kids and make them stressed because they have a plan and know what to do.
Parents should wait until their kids are done playing because they could distract them while playing.
Parents while watching a game may be screaming their kids name that could cause the kid to get distracted and perform worse.
don’t judge how parents talk to their children
when a parent actually is screaming at their kid it stresses out the kid, annoys the coach, mostly makes the kids basically feel bad, and doesn’t help anything at all in a generally big way.
That nobody should judge u how u speakk to your child in the stands.And that u have the freedom to say anything of your choice.And if there was a problem that somebody said that your were coaching on the sideline u should just listen a little in move on.
Don’t judge how parents talk to their children
I believe that it could distract the kids playing because of the people screaming at you and it could be stressful.
a parent sometimes distract kids when they are yelling and cheering them on like making the kids not focus
Well I would tell them I am just a kid I am not perfect there will not be any scholarships handed ou so let me play and learn from my mistakes .
don’t put to much pressure on your kids or tell them to do something because they are following their coaches and trying their best.
It would be to stop bringing the whole family tree and only bring us because they support me.
Encourage your kids on what they do right, and correct them for what they did wrong.
Parent should be limited on way they say between support and coaching.
If you’re in the stands don’t yell or chant my name because that makes me feel embarrassed and even more stressed than before.
I think that parents coaching from the sidelines can get annoying in some cases even when parents are very passionate about the sport in question.
no one cares what you think
The parents should not act like that because it embarrases the kids.
The advice i would give to parent is styand back watch
i would say to just support their child in what he/she wants to do
i think it would get the kids distracted because a lot of screaming could get annoying.
yelling at your child for the smallest things puts us under pressure so keeping the child stress free would be a better and healthier relationship for the parent snd teacher.
parents should be aware
My advice for parents cheering their kids in the stands is don’t be too hard on them. They are doing the best they can already without your constructive criticism.
Parents should wait till after the game to give criticism and try to learn the coaches side of the story before saying what the kid should do.
parents should not yell like that
When parents coach from the stands it can confuse players. Confused players=mistakes which equal losses which isn’t good for the entire team.
My parents are actually very supportive and do not do this but if they did it would just put me under more pressure.
i think that you need discipline but your parents dont need to do it like that.
dont be to harsh
Putting pressure on your child won’t help them, you need to wait till after the game.
I’ll give them like, don’t yell for no reason cause coaches aren’t going to do nothing about it. You should be considerate of their decisions and talk about after the game ended.
parents can distracts people that are playing when they are yelling in the crowds and that can not be good sometimes
That parents shouldn’t use inappropriate language at a Childs or anybody game while they’re in the stands, because it’s not setting a good example and its not good sportsmen ship.
I feel like parents can be distracting during games because they yell and try to get the players attention
idk y people think they know what their doing in the stands and they act like we care
parents sitting in the stands should leave the coaching to the coaches, they are probably hurting more than they are helping.
I would say yes you can yell but only yell stuff with supportive messages and not bad ones.
To not give them tips or pointers while their playing and wait to do that after the game.
I think the punishment was reasonable and ok
they should help the kids off the court and not scream to kids during games.
Please be sure to be respectful, especially if it is a kids sport game. Also, please make sure not to be too loud because it could not only mess up the other team, but it could mess up your own as well.
I appreciate the shouts from the stands but please stop.
only say good things
They need to stop trying to coach, instead leave the coaching to who it belongs to, such as the actual COACHES. Like, I know you’re 40 years old KAREN BUT SHUT UP. Ok thanks.
When parents yell at their kids it can make the kids nervous and mess up even more from pressure.
I know all parents can be distracting during a game because they want to get there child’s attention.
Stand coaching can make the other teams in a bad mood.
cheer for me a bit more but don’t go overboard
coaching form the stands gives the child more stress and causes them to lose focus.
Just support your child
I WOULD TELL THEM NOT TO POINT OUT MY MISTAKES UNTIL AFTER THE GAME, AND JUST TELL ME TO CONTINUE DOING THE PARTS THAT ARE GOOD.
I would tell them to give me advice in a better tone.
I completely agree because so much noise and yelling can really stress you out very badly.
I would tell them to just watch the game and if you want to cheer for your son/daughter then do it. Just dont yell too loud and dont distract them.
it’s like they don’t understand IM the one who is playing you don’t get it it’s not always that easy to score and it doesn’t help to yell just makes it worse.
I would tell my parents not to yell because it would distract me.
I would tell them to keep encouraging who they choose no matter what they do
Sometimes parents telling you what to do and how to play the game puts you under more pressure. Not only are you trying to play but also trying to please you coach and your parent
shut up
I will tell them to not yell at me that much while I’m playing because it will make me desconcentrate.
I agree with this, if your not a coach, be quiet. Why don’t you become a coach? Or if you think the referee has the wrong call, why don’t you be the referee? Parents listen to this, please.
I think it is necessary to encourage the kids.
parents and people doing that is one not fair for the other players it could bring them down emotionally and it’s also not fair for the coach because they are doing the coaching for him/her or gender nuchal
I would tell my mom/dad to just complement me and my team and not to go over board.
hi :>
hi 😉
It’s like the parents think it’s supposed to be so easy to score but at the same time it’s hard and I’m the one that’s playing you should be cheering me on not shouting at me.
Parents shouldn’t yell at their kids in games because it could put them under a lot of pressure and they should let the coaches coach instead of them acting like they know everything
I would tell them to give me advice in a better tone.
Parents screaming do not help children it puts them under pressure, so don’t do it
parents can you stop yelling from the benches its anoying
I would tell them to not yell because then why would I listen i would tell them to give me advice rather than critisize
hi :>
This inspired me
I would tell my mom to just complement me and not to go overboard.
If you keep telling your kid what to do and not letting the coach tells them they may get confused and not know what to do
If I could give the parents advice it would be to keep their composure till after the game. I would much rather hear about it after then be embarrassed in the moment.
My advice to parents is to be supportive to their children and their teammates when cheering them on. They should be positive because the constructive criticism should be coming from the coaches.
My advice would be to just be supportive to them and their teammates when sitting in the stands.leave the coaching to the coaches!
I think parents need to let the coaches coach the players. And be a positive source for all players. They shouldn’t be yelling at the players from the stands.
i totally agree. the coaching should be left for coaches. not the parents
My advise for the parents is to not coach for the stands because you don’t know how they practice or what works for them. And what your saying could go against what the coach is telling them
I would just tell them to enjoy it, my parents aren’t really ones to yell and coach from the stands.
I think that I would tell them to take a step back and relax. The kids are playing the game to have fun. And the coaches and refs are taking care of the kids for you. I volunteered for an 8th grade football game and some parents were yelling at me. I personally didn’t care but it is sad that they have to be so serious about it.
I go both ways. I feel like when my parents do say something during my events I take it and try to do it and fix my mistakes but at the same time, in the moment it gets me a little down and feel like I am failing but can always find ways to overcome what I have done and the past is the past so try and get the next play
if i could i would tell my parents to keep their mouths shut in the stands and just watch the game.
I would tell my parents to keep their thoughts to themselves, yelling about a call will not change it, yelling at me will not help my performance, and they will look like less of a fool.
I feel like the parents shouldn’t say much in the stands.
I think parents should not interfere with our coaches or yell during a game. One it’s embarrassing and two I have a coach that can tell me right from wrong
I think this is very true. Whenever parents coach their own kids from the sidelines, it can put pressure on them and cause them to play even worse. It is very important for the parents to leave the coaching to the coach and the playing to the players.